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[05 Feb 2016|05:28pm]

I haven't livejournaled properly in about five years, and apparently I've forgotten how to do... everything?? Also there's been so many changes to the site that I don't understand. Like, my layout is totally shot? And I have no memory of how I did it and no idea how to fix it, ha. Methinks I'm going to have to learn everything from scratch.

I am, however, still using the same computer monitor that I got for Christmas ten years ago, so at least that's adding to the authentic livejournal experience.

Every once in a while I get the urge to read through old eljay entries, but it’s been a while since I went back to the very beginnings of this journal. Later this year my eljay will turn twelve (TWELVE!) meaning that my first entries occurred when I was 17 and finishing high school. I turn 29 in two weeks, eep! Reading the earliest entries is an exercise in secondhand embarrassment, lemme tell you. I was so YOUNG. It's kind of adorable, if not mortifying that it's all out there to be read forever. Tempted to flock those early entries (omg, lookit this eljay lingo coming right back to me), but honestly who has the time?

Two things struck me about my early entries, that I did not expect. And both speak to how unreliable our memories are. Because I *remember* being quite anonymous on here, and never really sharing personal details. Well, that's a laugh. My early entries are filled with photos of myself and bff t_i_n_u_v_i_e_l running amok, and far out man I talk about real, identifying shit A LOT. I also *remember* keeping my journal secret from friends. El Oh El, I find my friends commenting in early entries all the time. And like, I'm the one encouraging them to sign up for journals?? Yep, no memory of that.

It is also unendingly interesting to see me figuring out my sexuality across those years. I've always blogged about the women I'm obsessed with, but early on I was so earnest in my love for them and did not understand at all that it was gay. I cringe re-reading myself mentioning the odd dude and how "hot" he was, and I remember doing it because I was self-aware that I talked about women 99% of the time. The cute thing is, though, that I'm not alone in this. So many of us figured out our sexualities during the eljay days. There's this really funny post I found from 2006, where many of us are commenting on the "hawtness" of a particular actress, but we're all qualifying with essentially "no homo" aka "I love her (but in a straight way!)". Yet with the benefit of hindsight (and a little lj stalking), I see that we all turned out to be queer. All of us. It's amazing.

Anyway, I know livejournal is super quiet these days, but I don't really mind. Tumblr doesn't really cut it for me as a place to post ramblings and musings, and with the final three months of my Masters approaching, I desperately need a space to ramble and muse. Dusting the ol' girl off, for the sake of me mental health. You can still find me on Tumblr, under this username. But how shit is it without replies?

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Little Wow, ten years on... [05 Feb 2016|04:42pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

My favourite thing about reading old livejournal entries is watching everyone descend into Kristin Chenoweth delirium between 2005-2007. She was like a really cute, bedazzled disease that infected us all one by one. My god, we were obsessed!!!! Still love her long time, but not as religiously as I did back then. I’m so impressed with how I knew every minor detail of her life. Like, ten years ago I seemed to have so much time on my hands for fangirling! I know it’s rose coloured glasses, but I do miss those days. I’m an even adultier adult now, and hardly have any time for deep, obsessive fangirling. Maybe once my Masters is over...

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So this just happened [03 Sep 2012|11:38pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I have become COMPLETELY OBSESSED with Once Upon A Time from literally every angle. Every character, every relationship, love it. But my Masters thesis draft is due in one week, so this new obsession couldn't have come at a worse time. Now, I'm no stranger to procrastinatory love affairs with random telly shows the night before an essay is due. Like that time I bought season two of CSI:NY on a whim and SUDDENLY HAD NO OTHER LOVE IN THE WORLD. But this is different. The mark I get for this thesis basically decides my academic (or otherwise) future. Le stress, right?

So I did something big. Something huge, for a fangirl. I handed over my beloved hard drive (nicknamed The Blackbird, a la stealth ship named in honour of Laura Roslin) to my girlfriend, with all of its delicious televisual contents. And asked her to hide it from me. Which she did. It happened so quickly. One second I was contemplating how my attempt to use the show as a carrot on a stick was failing due to my inability to stop watching once I started. The next thing I knew, I'd ripped the portable hard drive out of the PS3 and shoved it into her hands.

That was last night, so I've now gone 24 hours without watching an episode. I'm surviving, but it hasn't been easy. The next episode I was due to watch (1x18) is the one where we get Regina's backstory. Basically the episode I've been most excited about. Which only makes it harder. The anticipation is keeeeeling me. 

The side effects of quitting Once Upon A Time cold turkey have been unusual, but not unexpected. My brain, which was marinating in sweet, sweet narrative, is suddenly bereft. I find it seeking out narrative everywhere. Take tonight for example. I was explaining to my girlfriend how badly I missed watching the show, and enjoying the narrative ride, as it enables me to escape from my own thesis drudgery. She offered that there were in fact still many avenues down which I could pursue my narrative hit - such as watching ordinary television. (Let me just preface that Australian programming puts the "ordinary" into ordinary television). At my debbie downer expression, she then proclaimed that she would tell me a story, immediately followed by an expression that screamed "Wait, did I just say that?". My girlfriend, ladies and gentleladies, is a fangirl of the "non" fiction variety. Narrative is not her style, so her offer was all the more charming for its rarity.

And here is her story:

"There was once a, um, a dinosaur... nun." (I'd like to point out that there were nuns on our telly at the time and dinosaurs are pretty much my favourite thing ever)

And, as evidence of my narrative-starved brain, this basically set my mind on fire.

"Wait what, a Nun Dinosaur?! Tell me more? Does she have an adventurous spirit? I bet she daydreams about what lies beyond her convent walls, and the other nun dinosaurs all laugh at her. What if the nun dinosaurs pray to a god that does not want them, because he only wants creatures that reflect his image? But then one day this goddess comes along and hears the prayers of the nun dinosaurs, and backhands the god that has ignored them. Then she fashions a harness out of the sun and clouds and rides the  spirited nun dinosaur over the walls and into a life of adventure! Is that pretty much what happens?"

My poor, poor girlfriend. That was the end of the story, and I was marched back to the study to keep, well, studying.

So, well, I guess the moral of the story is, that even from beyond the grave (I assume she took my hard drive and BURIED IT), Once Upon A Time is still ruining my academic life, because here I am still procrastinating over it. Do you think if I explain to her that I'm doomed either way, she'll hand it back?

Probably not. She won't stop until I've kicked the habit (and not the nun dinosaur variety, ahaaaaaaaa).

Send help.

Xx 

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We interrupt this program to bring you: [10 May 2012|10:07am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

OBAMA SUPPORTS SAME-SEX MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!






















WE NEED A GIF PARTY! ALL MY GIFS ARE INAPPROPRIATE FOR THIS MOMENT. WHO HAS THE GIFS?

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Wanted: [08 May 2012|07:36pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I feel like gathering you all around and shouting, Jenna Maroney-style, ACTOR EMERGENCY!

Except swap "actor" for "fangirl" and you get the picture. I need help, you guysss. The only two shows I watch with my girlfriend, Castle & Glee, are reaching their season finales. We need something to fill the hole in our hearts where they reside. The only other show we watch together is NZ's "The Zoo", which is less a TV show and more twenty minutes of having cute animals thrown at your face.

So I'm here to take your recommendations. But there are a couple of requirements. Firstly, I already watch the usual suspects (Community, 30 Rock, Game of Thrones, Fringe etc), but my Lady has no interest in them. Secondly, nothing depressing, this needs to be our escape-from-reality lulzy forty minutes of pure joy and cheeseballs. All genres welcome.

So, hit me with your best suggestions. Please and thank you.

4 comments|post comment

Is this thing on? [07 Mar 2012|12:39pm]
Show of hands. Who's still out there, reading/writing/using LJ?

I've been itching to start writing again (or, I guess, blogging) but was sort of leaning away from LJ for a while. My journal is nearly 8 years old, and to be honest often just feels like a big, cumbersome dinosaur. I've been tempted to start a shiny new wordpress blog for my pop cultural ramblings, but every time I open the damn thing, I just can't seem to put words to keyboard. A new blog, with no followers and no niche within fandom, just feels too impersonal. Thus, this indecision (coupled with a distraction of the lady variety), brought my blogging to a complete stop. Not a post in over a year. I've been promising myself I'd get at least one thing up on wordpress, but I just can't seem to break that virginal barrier. But I've had an epiphany of sorts.

It's actually thanks to violettavalery (Hi Alice!). On Twitter the other day, she commented that LJ remains the only place she can really be herself. And it hit me. That's so damn true. I don't even *think* when I'm writing here, the words just flow out of my hands. I'm not stressing about who might be reading it, or whether I'm making a good impression. I'm simply writing things that I'd like to write. I've also got people on here that share such common interests, why would I abandon that? I know there's only a few of us left, but two people (who are already familiar with my ramblings) reading this journal are better than the zero I'd have on wordpress.

Thus, Imma have another run at it. I miss capslocking about Kalinda, or Stana Katic's hair. I want back in.

So, I ask again. Who's still around? Put your paws up, as Mama Monster would say.

Jessie.
12 comments|post comment

The Good Wife Flail Party [11 Nov 2010|01:44am]
[ mood | busy ]

YOU GUYS. I may have skipped five episodes just to watch certain scenes in tonight's ep. TOTALLY JUSTIFIED.



Nothing like a dark bar with green and red lighting to ruin your screencapsCollapse )

41 comments|post comment

Speculation Post! [05 Oct 2010|02:44pm]
[ mood | busy ]

So, in light of recent The Good Wife spoilers involving Lili Taylor's guest stint, I'm dying to hear all your thoughts and predictions!

SPOILERS. Including the latest promo photo...Collapse )

PS - On an unrelated but awesome note, Warehouse 13 got renewed for a third season. YES!

10 comments|post comment

Lost Girl [22 Sep 2010|12:01am]
Hey ladiesss, there's a new femslash couple in town and nobody told us! How come it seems all the sweeps week fauxmosexual storylines get trumpeted in the headlines, but then when something real and sustained comes along, it gets no coverage! It's like how we only knew something was up with Kalinda because she tripped our collective gaydars.



Bo (a succubus, feeds off people's seksual energy) and Lauren (human lady doctor, brimming with seksual energy), the gals in question, are one side of a love triangle featured in ShowCase Canada's new fantasy series, Lost Girl. Two episodes have aired so far, and I haven't had time to watch 'em properly, but did I skip through to the femslashy parts? You bet I did. Picspammed for your discerning tastes, under the cut. Just don't expect me to know what in the hell is going on ;)

And the best part? It's all canon, baby!Collapse )
7 comments|post comment

The Good Wife 1x17 [07 Sep 2010|06:43pm]


Hai guys, hai! It's been a while. You might remember me from such recaps as these.

Well, I'm still slowly getting through them. I don't want to skip any episodes, because then we'd miss so many delicious moments of boots and ass-kickery.

Before reading, let's recap the, erm, recaps:
1. I watched for Alicia, but stayed for Kalinda.
2. I don't ship Alicia/Peter or Alicia/Will. I wish the show would give her more options.
3. I do believe that Kalinda has a massive crush on Alicia
4. I don't believe that the show will have Alicia and Kalinda skipping off into the sunset together, but:
5. I do believe that Kalinda's weakness for Alicia is, and will become even more so, an important plot point.


ONWARD!Collapse )
8 comments|post comment

Rizzoli & Isles [04 Aug 2010|01:41pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Rizzoli & Isles is turning out to be the gayest straight show we've seen in years. Both lysachan and jetgirl78 have provided excellent picspam proof of this, and there is much ongoing discussion as to what makes it So Very Gay.

The consensus seems to be these two simple reasons:


1. Angie Harmon/the powers that be are playing Rizzoli like she is a “skinny greaseball dyke detective”. She’s so gay it hurts. Softball, field hockey, not needing a man in her life, belt buckle, gay lean, dyketastic outfits and THAT VOICE... The list goes on and on.


2. Despite no outwardly cliche gay tendencies, Sasha Alexander is bringing the gay in her own special way. Her Maura Isles is a scientific genius, but socially awkward and obviously sees Rizzoli as someone with genuine people-skills. She aspires to this; looking up to her friend. Hilariously, on screen, this fascination with Rizzoli plays out like infatuation, all longing looks and secret smiles. In short, ho to the yay.

Or as jetgirl78 aptly put it, it’s gay no matter how you slice that gay cake.

Let’s just hope TPTB never realise the femslash behemoth they have created.

*rainbows*

This show is also deeply responsible for my (and every other red-blooded lady lover, I’m sure) rekindled ob-sesh-yone with Angie Harmon, and one Sasha Alexander. It took me so long to get over Sasha after Kate Todd’s death in NCIS. But it’s weird; she’s so very not "Kate" here. I had no idea she had this cute quirkiness in her!

18 comments|post comment

Stand and Deliver [31 Jul 2010|11:37pm]
So, my ambition to get episode 1x17 of The Good Wife recapped by the end of last week was totally derailed by my falling back in love with Ashes to Ashes. I finished the series this morning, and now have a lot of feelings. Spoilers, obvsly.



I'm happy, hope you're happy too...Collapse )
6 comments|post comment

Maddow [07 Jul 2010|03:52pm]
Go check out Rachel Maddow's Afghanistan trip photos! Maddow in combat gear. Do you need another reason?




Maddow's Flickr
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Distraction [14 May 2010|10:58am]


Only The Good Wife could have an episode where Kalinda macks on a man and yet comes across as even MOAR gay.

I'm knee-deep in assignment hell right now, so I've only flicked through the ep to Kalinda's scenes. Can't wait to watch the whole thing!
14 comments|post comment

Poster child [08 May 2010|01:05am]


I've been sitting here for about an hour trying to type a post that could even BEGIN to do Chely Wright and her amazing Coming Out process justice. But I just can't articulate how compelling it is to see this well-spoken, intelligent, completely charming star give these raw accounts of her struggle with sexuality. Not to do other "outings" a disservice, but Chely isn't a flamingly obvious or butchy mcfabulous gay. There will be no eye-rolling "Well duh!" from across America. Aside from the belt buckle + tank top combos (which let's face it, are only ever going to ping for us gay girls anyway), Chely does not fit the world's view of Lesbian. Which is awesome in so many ways. Add to this the fact that she knew she was gay before she hit puberty, and it's a pretty powerful message reaching into the homes of millions who probably have no concept of what it means to be gay. She's also impossible to dismiss, because she's such a rational, articulate woman who absolutely looks, walks and talks like the polite southern belle she is. She's also being incredibly clear and strong on the fact she is very much a lesbian. This is no popstar kissing girls moment. I am so completely spellbound by her story; from her contemplation of suicide to her incredibly candid admission that she's been on both sides of the homophobic fence. Then there's the heartbreaking truth that she lost her only love so that she could keep her career, only to realise her mistake(Dear Lord someone please find this ex-girlfriend and REUNITE THEM ASAP. My heart can't take it).

I really agree with Heather Hogan over at AE in her assessment of the importance of Chely's coming out compared with other coming outs, in that so often recently outed celebs completely shut down and almost refuse to discuss being gay. Chely is being so open and in such a liberated, unthreatening manner that I think her message will reach a lot further than most. Hard to believe we were disappointed to discover she was the celeb coming out on May 5th, eh?

If you read one interview with Chely Wright, make it this one over at The Huffington Post. You'd have to be a pretty hard bastard to read that and not be moved. Have you ever wanted to hug someone so badly in all of your life??

Chely Wright, I am SO glad to have you in the family ♥
1 comment|post comment

Let's talk about The Good Wife [06 May 2010|12:33am]


I’ve been holding off making this post, because I didn’t want to admit it out loud, but I've been slowly falling out of love with this show. My recaps were originally written out of an excitement for something we don’t often get on television (namely, an all-female crime-fighting duo), but that’s starting to fade and it’s killing my inspiration. What this show was originally about has quietly shifted over the past season, and I am far less enthusiastic about this new direction. Which is really saying something, when you’ve got Kalinda being this gay:

This is not the end of my recaps, just a much-needed rant...Collapse )
18 comments|post comment

This unrequited thing [15 Apr 2010|03:01pm]
In the middle of watching 1x18, just had to pause and share this with you:

O hai thar, ladies. Nice personal space you're not respecting. I'm sure co-workers look at each other like that all the time...

Also, if y'all haven't joined darsfebruary's Kalinda community, theinhouse, you really must. Kalinda's boots command you.
27 comments|post comment

Fuck Yeah, Ellie Linton! [13 Apr 2010|12:12am]
OMGGG You guys the trailer for Tomorrow, When the War Began is online!!! Apparently it's showing in front of Date Night in Australia. Like I needed another reason to see that film.

I'm having trouble embedding, but you can watch it here.

It looks so awesome, I'll even forgive the fact that half the cast are Neighbours/Home & Away alum.
4 comments|post comment

It's Joanie! [12 Apr 2010|01:16pm]
Have just been informed via thrace_'s twitter that Kim Dickens is in a new show called Treme. A little googling later, stumbled upon this and pretty much forgot what else I was doing

O HAI THAR

Between this and Caprica, I'm slowly getting my Deadwood ladies back on TV, yay!

Also Anna Torv and Mark Valley have apparently split up, and I don't know how to feel about it. Except, y'know, poor single Anna.
7 comments|post comment

Bones 5x16 [09 Apr 2010|07:10pm]
[ mood | happy ]



Oh my gods, I haven't watched Bones in years, but then the internet kind of exploded in the wake of the latest episode, so I watched it and NOW I HAVE MANY FEELINGS.

The Parts in the Sum of the WholeCollapse )

7 comments|post comment

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